A little bit of this...a little bit of that.: What Did You Expect?

Some of you with good memories might remember that my sweet friend and I have been going through Paul Tripp's book What Did You Expect during our time together. Well, as of two weeks ago, we completed it! Yay, hooray! And, it was super all the way through...still highly recommend it. Tripp starts from the premise that we're a sinner married to a sinner in a sinful world...that God places us in that situation to perfect us and change us into more of His likeness...that first and foremost our problem is a worship issue, that we worship our comfort and desires more we worship Him. When we can look at our marriages from that vantage point, we can act, respond, and live differently. Tripp then weaves 6 commitments throughout the rest of his book:

We will give ourselves to a regular lifestyle of confession and forgiveness
We will make growth and change our daily agenda
We will work together to build a sturdy bond of trust
We will commit to building a relationship of love
We will deal with our differences with appreciation and grace
We will work to protect our marriage

Each chapter challenges, convicts, and gives examples of how to live those commitments out in our marriages. And most of them are real doozies. :) But as Tripp is so good at reminding us, God did not leave us alone in our marriages, He gave us the best help we can have...His Spirit within us, working to sanctify and grow us each step of the way. Really good stuff. It has been a huge help for me to look at Dave and my relationship differently...to not be so quick to point the finger of blame, but take responsibility for my part...to make the choice not to just work on "problem" areas, but to also seek ways to do good to the other...to choose a level of vulnerability and trust...to appreciate differences rather than desire sameness...to truly love for the other's best interest rather than seeking your own way...etc, etc. I still have a long way to go, but Tripp has really helped hone my perspective into one that glorifies God and seeks the better path.

Here's an excerpt from the final chapter...So what is it that produces a marriage of unity, understanding, and love? This kind of marriage is the result of a lifelong commitment to daily marital work and deep trust in God's transforming grace. What produces a commitment to work and a trust in grace? There is only one thing, and one thing alone, that can form in you this commitment to toil and trust. It is worship.

Think of the commitments that make for a wonderful, God-honoring marriage, the commitments that form the content of this book. What does it take to deal honestly with your sin, weakness, and failure? Toil and trust. What does it take to make growth and change your daily agenda? Toil and trust. What does it take to build a strong foundation of trust? Toil and trust. What does it take to build a relationship of love? Toil and trust. What does it take to deal with your differences with appreciation and grace? Toil and trust. And what does it take to work to protect your marriage? Toil and trust. It is a lifelong lifestyle of joyful marital work and living together as you really believe in God's grace, which really does give you everything you need to do the work he has called you to as husband and wife. But what propels you to give yourself to the daily labor of a good marriage and a practical belief that God will not call you to work that he does not enable you to do? Worship. This and this alone is the foundation of a marriage of unity, understanding, and love.

Every day after Thanksgiving we set up our Christmas decorations